What's the time?

In Estonia it is not common to start up a conversation with a stranger without a specific need. You do not disturb the passenger on the bus sitting next to you or, god forbid, strangers you in rare cases need to share a dining table with. And I don’t say thinking that it is weird or unnice or anything like that. This is how it is and it is normal. As an exception, it’s normal to ask a way somewhere or what the time is (but now everyone has a phone/watch, so perhaps it would create suspicion).

Before I went travelling in October 2011 I was visiting Estonia in July. In the spirit of training a more open attitude to strangers I made myself a task to start up a conversation with whoever happens to sit next to me on the plane. Was pretty happy to see it was a handsome guy, behaving normally (including not starting to talk to me). I also remember he was reading some book or papers about a country that was in my travel list. So I was thinking to myself it’s a perfect way to strike up a conversation. But how do? How do you just start to talk to a stranger?? Will I not bother him??? Time was running up as we were well into the second half of the flight time (one does not fly so long from Belgium to Estonia anyhow). With great internal effort (but trying to look at ease) I did finally turn to him. And he did not look at me weird and seemed pleased to pass some time talking. I was over the moon with the mission complete.

While travelling for 14 months it somehow became quite easy to strike up a conversation. Usually or at least sometimes. You just have to.

Now I’m back so I don’t talk to strangers again. Unless a situation requires it. On Monday I went to a Buddhist centre in Tallinn. Well, I wanted to go, but I got lost in an unknown neighborhood with my phone battery dead. So I started to ask people for the way. There is something humble yet gratifying about it. You realize how you can’t manage without a help and that as you need help, most people really try to help you and do it happily as well. I felt a bit like I was travelling again. And as an extra bonus – people helping me were all Russians, but they were speaking Estonian fairly or very well, much better than I could manage in Russian. Respect.

Next day I was in Finland with my mum and my cousin and her daughter. As the only English speaker I had the responsibility of the guide. I don’t know how many tram drivers, people on the tram/metro stations and on the street I had to turn to that day. And they were all helpful. Only person who seemed a bit bothered and acted as in a rush was an older gentleman working in the Finnish tourist information point. There you go. 

At the end of the day I thought to myself: if I add up all the help and good I received today,  if and how does it match with the good deeds of my own?