As from November, things took a tough turn at work. Responsibilities were rocketing and often I had to face situations where I simply did not know what's the best course of action, how to set up a certain workflow or simply how to use a certain IT tool to deliver what was expected of me. So I got stressed. And I realized this is the test of my yoga and mediation practice right here.Perhaps too much too soon as I developed headaches and felt my heart rate elevated every now and then. But there were also days I could take things with humour and felt I'm in the middle of a game, stupid game as it may be, but game nevertheless. But then I let myself get upset again.
When the week was over and I went to practice/teaching Friday evening and then Saturday morning, then I felt like that weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I feel good, I breath easily. How wonderful. Body feels limber, mind feels calm. And my teaching got better in time too, so that was a great relief. Because in the beginning it felt like im failing on both fronts, but I learned. I did not fail in neither fronts, but was pushed to my limits. Though maybe I ought to raise my limits :) Or actually we set our own limits...well its easy to be philosophical about things.
I thought of all the people who are constantly under pressure at work or in their life...how horrible! I mean if they are not able to deal with it properly yet, like me. What a strange thing to wake up in the morning and have the first thought of an email you gotta write or a development problem, that needs to be addressed? But not in a happy, inspired way, but more as a prospect of doom. Nevertheless I always sat down for my meditation practice, even if it was just to see how the thoughts are crashing hundred miles per hour.
Recognizing I'm yet to learn how to deal with stress, I did what I thought was the second best thing - to pay attention to what the stress inside me is doing to me and also to see if i can catch concrete triggers that cause the heart rate go up and feeling of resentment come up. I hope I learned something at least. January, when things pick up at work again, will be the test for that. Finger's crossed.
When the week was over and I went to practice/teaching Friday evening and then Saturday morning, then I felt like that weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I feel good, I breath easily. How wonderful. Body feels limber, mind feels calm. And my teaching got better in time too, so that was a great relief. Because in the beginning it felt like im failing on both fronts, but I learned. I did not fail in neither fronts, but was pushed to my limits. Though maybe I ought to raise my limits :) Or actually we set our own limits...well its easy to be philosophical about things.
I thought of all the people who are constantly under pressure at work or in their life...how horrible! I mean if they are not able to deal with it properly yet, like me. What a strange thing to wake up in the morning and have the first thought of an email you gotta write or a development problem, that needs to be addressed? But not in a happy, inspired way, but more as a prospect of doom. Nevertheless I always sat down for my meditation practice, even if it was just to see how the thoughts are crashing hundred miles per hour.
Recognizing I'm yet to learn how to deal with stress, I did what I thought was the second best thing - to pay attention to what the stress inside me is doing to me and also to see if i can catch concrete triggers that cause the heart rate go up and feeling of resentment come up. I hope I learned something at least. January, when things pick up at work again, will be the test for that. Finger's crossed.
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